The Psycho Cat

To put this story in perspective, you have to understand that I have been sleep deprived since Saturday night, when Emily came down with the stomach flu AND an ear infection. After a couple rounds of antibiotics I was hopeful last night that I might get a whole nights sleep. Emily was doing much better, but....

At 2am I heard the most awful howling, screeching, hissing, moaning sound I've ever heard in my life! I looked out my bedroom door into our little courtyard and saw a stray cat huddled under our bistro table. We have a cat, and every once-in-a-while she'll get into a cat fight. Nothing that a swift opening of the door and a loud noise won't break up. This time, the cat didn't move!

Our cat was crouching about 2 feet away observing this scene, but otherwise doing nothing. After several attempts at making enough noise to scare the loud cat away, I started to think that this cat must be injured or have rabies or something. I couldn't see very well though, because I didn't have my contacts in, and with out them everything 8"away from me is blurry. So I telephoned my husband, who was working the night shift. "Sorry, honey. I'm dealing with drunks. Try using pepper spray" was his reply. The last time I tried using pepper spray on an animal, I ended up spraying my husband instead of the dog that was attacking him! Plus, I had no idea where the pepper spray was and I still couldn't see. So, I called the the local police instead.

Meanwhile the cat was going on and on and on like it was going to die! The dispatcher could hear the cat over the phone. She laughed (with me, I 'm hoping, not at me!) and suggested that maybe the cat was "In Season." Our cat is neutered. "Are you SURE?" she asked. I think so. She told me to try spraying it with water. But the faucet was only a foot away from the evil-doer cat, and I would have had to go outside to use it.

Realizing no one was going to help me with this cat, I did the best I could. After blocking the door with the ever present laundry basket (so the cat would have to jump over it to "get" me), I tried throwing several mugs of water at it, to no avail. I looked around for something to chuck at it and found a jar of pennies. 25 cents later the cat was still there!

I went around to the school room which also opens to the courtyard. On the way, I saw my son's BB gun. I stood and stared at that gun for at least 2 minutes debating, (1) whether or not I could actually figure out how to use it, (2) would it kill the cat? (I really didn't want to do that), and (3) should I wake up my son to come and help his poor mom out!

Deciding the BB gun was a bad idea, I headed toward the toxic wasteland under my sink. Febreeze only had a spray mist. No good. Hardwood Floor Cleaner had a jet stream. Now we're talking!

I was scared the cat would attack me. The courtyard is only 7 feet across so the cat was too close for my comfort. But I braved it and opened the door and sprayed! Finally, the cat moved, obviously not injured. But now our cat was blocking the way through the narrow opening around our hot tub! I had to yell at our cat to get out of the way. Finally, things settled down, but I was too amped up to go back to sleep!

When I told my kids this morning, Evan kindly offered to give me a lesson with his BB gun. He also wished I had woken him up!